piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
