Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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