She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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