I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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