omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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