Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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