My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
