Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My ass is underappreciated
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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