No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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