So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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