My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
