i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm drive I can fine osifer
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize