um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
