i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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