she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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