Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
