I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize