I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
