Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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