One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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