i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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