u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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