Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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