He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
