She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
