Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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