you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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