how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
