non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
