I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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