He kissed a someone with a penis
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
