He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
