At least make sure they are 18
Why
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Alive.
So much puke
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
