dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
