I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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