My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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