This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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