If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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