I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
