And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
