i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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