Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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