remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
