Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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