$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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