I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
