I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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