break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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