I must be too annoying 4 u.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
