This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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