Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
