I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
