is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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