i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
