That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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