Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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