There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
