after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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