plz talk dirty to me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
