I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
