I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
