i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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